Wednesday, August 19

We needed more excitement in our lives...

So we figured getting pregnant during a job loss would be JUST the thing. :) I went to the dr yesterday. I am 14 weeks (15 this weekend...but who's counting?) and have already vowed never to do this again. Most of you know, the pregnancy morning sickness KICKS MY TAIL. I am usually so sick and nauseated for many weeks. I was sick till 17 weeks with Daisy, 16 with Isaac and (THANK YOU LORD) it's already starting to ease up on me now at 14 weeks.

(*****WARNING: this post is detailed! If you don't wanna know...don't read on. Just know Baby three is coming in Feb. :) I am writing all this to share it and to remember it for myself on down the road.)

But please give a warm welcome back to "Big Girl" (what I call myself when I am with child. C'mon it's funny...but only when I say it. :)).

It has been BAD. I was SO miserable. SO much in fact that my life dream of being a mom to 4 kids has been forgotten ON PURPOSE AND HAPPILY...I can't handle this again! I would watch the clock all day...7:43 am, 7:47 am....get distracted and eagerly check the clock hoping it was much later...and it would say 8:03 am. UGH. Are you kidding me? WHY IS MY LIFE PASSING SO SLOWLY?!?!

I did throw up a good amount, daily for a while. But I think finally (3rd times a charm) that I have learned to keep my stomach full (even though NOTHING sounds good) and it helped. I also was prescribed Zofran...which took the edge off but was in NO way a miracle drug for me. But my insurance would only cover 22 pills a month. I didn't realize this until I had been taking 2 a day, ran out and found out that I couldn't refill it again for 2 1/2 weeks (unless I paid 415 dollars...the actual cost). That wasn't gonna happen. I tried Phenergan which puts me in a coma. The children don't do as well when I sleep all day. The nag me about eating and stuff....so annoying. HA~ just kidding. :) I tried taking half a pill...much better but then I was super groggy. But it was worth the swap. It took away the "when we go to the store...I can't forget my vomit bag for my purse and a fresh cold can of Sprite" kinds of thoughts. :) I also really really noticed the correlation in tiredness and nausea. If I was worn out...vomit all around. If I felt rested I thought I could vomit...but was less likely to. Also, distraction really helped. When people came over or we had plans...it just helped me not dwell on the bad feelings and made the day pass. I was talking about this to Emily Hoggard (friend AND cousins wife...aren't I clever to hook that up? :) HA!). She said the funniest and truest thing about distraction....

When I was feeling so sick I would be at church just talking and laughing in the foyer afterwards. Then we would get in the car to go home and I would say to Joel, "Ugh, I am feeling terrible." And I always thought he must have been thinking...you liar, you sure didn't SEEM sick when you were laughin' it up with your friends in there! But I really felt terrible. For some reason being around others and being distracted helped!

But it's so true. When you sit or things calm down...it's bad. I felt the same way. I felt I was always wanting to tell Dan that. He never once questioned me or made me feel like he didn't believe me (Joel didn't to Emily either). But for some reason you still feel the need to explain.

Let me tell you all the things that I went thru that would "sound good" or would work for a while while I was sick (I was CONSTANTLY eating): saltines, ritz crackers, California rolls sushi with soy sauce, a sub with vinegar and oil, beef ravioli in the microwaveable can, cold cans of Sprite, Raisin Nut Bran cereal, a salad with vinegary dressing, preggy pops, tomato juice, orange juice, ....just to name a few. Currently, I still have to keep food on the stomach. I only feel super bad if I go hours and haven't eaten. Then it's "if I don't eat immediately something bad is going to happen." HA! The snack of choice as of late is Honey Nut Chex cereal eaten dry.

You can imagine how this lovely diet of constantly eating crap and NO exercise was changing this body. I didn't have the energy to care. But let's just say I was "showing" sooner. Probably not so much the baby. HA. I am just now feeling like I need to unbutton the top button on the jeans and try out that BellaBand thing. But the stomach lost its shape LONG ago. Many have reminded me that my uterus (and all else involved) is a balloon that has been blown up 2 times before...so it's a bit stretched out, knows where to go and is wasting no time. Awesome. Honestly, I don't love the early showing...but I don't care as much on round 3. The only thing I hate is IF (since no one has yet to be so bold) someone asked me how far along I was...I would hate to answer the small amt of weeks I am. I have learned that I was one of those judgemental people who couldn't believe those who were in maternity wear before a certain time. My thoughts were "the baby is only the size of a peanut...why do you need a big shirt/elastic waistband for that?" Ahhh...how time and experience brings humility. (THAT is a whole huge post for another day...stay tuned for the post "Please pass the salt for the words I need to eat.").

I have also had the usual constipation, tiredness all day, insomnia, enlarging of my chest (which has delighted ALL members of my family. Dan (obviously), Daisy (can't stop asking about them) and Isaac (Oh, Look! MAMA! I hold it? I hold it?). Really fam? Can a girl grow and be tender in peace?)

So being as sick as I was...that is why my mom and Aunt Judy came to help me move. And why I skipped town for a week when I had just moved to a new town. And why my blogging has been scarce and lacking detail. I just didn't have the energy. Heck, I still don't have it. But it was time to post on the topic. :) The energy is still low. And while the nausea has retreated some...the HEAD CRACKING headaches have made their way in. In a house with NO carpet and screaming children...it's hard to NOT be bad mom of the year and spend all day screaming. My hero and uncle Bryan Pruitt called me in some stuff that takes care of them. He saved the day since my dr here would do nothing cause they had not seen me yet.

I am seriously praying that the kids and the Lord forgive me for the BAD mom I have been. How do those with chronic issues make it? HOW? I would wake up begging God to take it from me but if not, to give me patience and love. And at night I would pray for forgiveness (and want to cry) for all the yelling and craziness I had inflicted on my kids. Daisy would look at me with worried eyes and even flinch. It made me wonder what a terrible sight I must have been. Ugh. Since I am feeling better this part has drastically improved. God probably answered that prayer not for me but for the emotional health of my children!

My mom told me the FUNNIEST story yesterday about while she was pregnant with Julie (my sister) and she had me (age 4) and Scott (age 2). I was in bible class at church and the teacher asked us all to cut out pictures of each family member from a magazine and paste it to paper. Well, mom had the pregnancy symptoms as bad as me. When she came to pick me up...I had chosen a women in an Excedrin ad who had a big grimace on her face, her hands on her head and eyes closed tightly...apparently in terrible pain to represent my mom! HA! I totally ratted out my mom to the teacher!! I have to say...Daisy could TOTALLY do that now. I mean, worse...she could cut out any evil creature and it would have been accurate in the last few months.

anywho...that is all for now. In 3 weeks I have an ultrasound to see what we are having and make sure the baby is healthy. :)

13 comments:

Rachel said...

Mel, I am SO SO SORRY! I've been thinking about you almost every day since we hung out that day in June, and it sounds like you've needed every prayer I lifted up. Your post is so funny at parts, but through most of it, all I can think is, "THAT IS SO GOING TO BE ME!" The way you describe your sickness is exactly how mine went both times, and I think often "there is no way I am ready to handle that misery again with two kids." Just be grateful that kids are so resilient and that they will remember the kind of mom you were most of their childhood, not these 3 months. I hope I can give myself that same grace when it's my turn!

Michael and Hannah said...

I'm SO sorry you've had such a horrible 1st trimester!! I can relate to the feeling like a bad parent, but I've been spared the nightmare sickness you described... so I don't have as good an excuse. I feel equally a bad mom, and I'm just pregnant, hormonal, and tired. Sleeping when I'm the only one here to watch the kids is impossible, so I'm just ALWAYS tired. And snippy. It actually makes me feel better to know I'm not alone! I'm glad the sickness seems to be easing up. Despite all the insanity, I'm still THRILLED for both of us. Never say we didn't grab life by the horns! Is this living or WHAT?!

April said...

Totally CRACKED up about the ta-tas! Obviously Dan would notice (and LOVE them!) but didn't think about Dais and Isaac already seeing a difference.......FUNNY!

sonyagraykey said...

Honey, I am SO sorry. That is exactly the reason L. & Z. will not have a sibling (at least from my womb). I can totally relate to the "worst mom of the year" feeling. Remember how forgiving kids are. I'm sure your babies won't even remember these trying times (you don't recall the pic of the pained lady in bible class do you?). I'm happy that it's easing up & I hope you can enjoy some of this pregnancy. Maybe at least some of the "this is the last time for __" stuff. Love you & miss you. And...we'll have to chat one last time before Sept 10th...when our lives change for 6 months or so. :)

Brittany said...

Mel- I'm sorry you have been feeling so bad! That really stinks and I know how much harder it makes your job as a mother. I hope the sickness gets better and you breeze through the second trimester. You're in my prayers.
love ya,
Britters

Anna said...

Classic Melanie! That was hysterical--well, barring the miserable part. Seriously, though, I'm so sorry about the sickness, but also about the feelings of guilt. And yes, I can relate. Your friend Rachel's got a point. I don't know that Daisy and Isaac (especially) will remember much about this stage in life. How much do you remember a/b being 4 and 2? Maybe one thing @ the most? You're on the up hill path. Hang in there! It's super tough w/both kids being under the age of five. They're just more demanding by nature, and don't understand the concept of being sensitive to Mommy (for a long period of time anyway). Love ya!

torinem said...

Girl, congrats again and you are soooo not a bad momma! I have been there and I do not even have the pregnant excuse!

Danielle_Wright said...

I'm realy exited that yo uhave post that "nesw" now. Of course being the faithful reader that i am i read it mothns ago. Sorry about the sickness. Do the prego pops help any. I had one friend they did and one they didnt. We were in nursing school taking care of patient. We knew were they were most of the time... it was fun (add in the complete saarcasm). Cant wait to find out when you are having! Cant wait for you to be over the sickness! And you arent a bad mom... every kid needs a little crazy that goes away in their life... it prepare them for the "real world"

exchangeandmart said...

Love the kid pics, they are adorable! Congratulations on the pregnancy too sweetie! I know things can be tough, but keep on smiling, and before long you will have your beautiful baby to hold! If you are looking for baby stuff I work with exchange and mart http://www.exchangeandmart.co.uk/ were there are lots of items listed for babies if you are after a bargain. Best of luck for the labour and future, good blogging with you

alison said...

Congrats Mel and Dan! We are back in Gainesville, so maybe we can get together sometime this fall. Sorry you feel so crappy -- it's good for me to read this stuff the year before Nick and I hope to be pregnant. I might come back and re-read all the tips when I am sick!

the haydens said...

Congratulations Dan and Mel!!! I hope you'll start feeling much better, really soon. I always keep up with your blog and love to know how you guys are doing.

Jeff and Beth said...

you and Beth need to compete for the pregnancy sickness award. She only ate chicken wings and hard bread with Walker.

Sarah said...

I am so excited for you! Sorry that it has been such a tough beginning. I can't believe that you will find out in 3 weeks! How exciting. I would be a little upset that this is how I am finding out BUT you have every excuse in the world--major life changes, major sickness, two kids, etc., etc. Wish I lived closer and could bring you dinners and watch your kids and help you unpack and bring you ice cold sprites from Sonic! Love you and glad that you give full details so that I can feel like I am right there with you hearing it in person. :) Btw, what is ZUMBA going to do without you?